If you’re currently a member of a web dating site about Asian women or Chinese women then you’re probably there because you’re looking for a change from the type of personal relationships that now seem to exist between Western Men and Western Women. You’re tired of women who grew up in the “ME” generation, always looking strictly for “What’s in this relationship for me?” Nowadays, when you meet a new Western Woman who you find attractive, before the conversation has even really begun, she’s already drilling you about your occupation and your assets. How much money do you make and how much “stuff” do you have.
You’ve heard that Chinese Women are different than that, so you’re online to check it out.
Well first, let’s be honest. A Chinese Woman will also want to know that you have an income and that you are financially stable. Like women everywhere, she also wants a secure future. The difference is, most Chinese Women come from a world where a normal job is a great job, a simple home is a great home, and family is everything. Will there be food on the table – good enough. Will we have a home that I can clean and cook in and make comfortable for you – good enough. You’re a truck driver (mechanic, teacher, male nurse, etc) – that’s fantastic. Just be reliable.
If you want a simple life where you do your job, which is the primary income earner, and she does her job, which is manage the home and family, then Chinese women make great life partners. That’s not to say that she won’t help you with business if that’s what you want, but you’ll be the boss. And it doesn’t mean she’s not prepared to have a job too. She will likely prove to be a very hard worker. It does mean that running the home is her job as well. You will have a say in all the important decisions, but when it comes to day to day operations sit back and let her take over, it’s what she does best.
But here is the most important thing – a Chinese Woman marries for life. Once she commits, she will invest every ounce of her being into your future, your home, your family and your life together. If that is the kind of wife you want, then you’re in the right place. Her priorities in approximate order are husband and children, parents (hers and yours), home, face (what does the world think of your family), herself, her importance to you, her job, her friends.
Chinese women want to love you and they want to be loved by you. Unlike Western Women, they will not be out to instantly change you the moment they have their grip on you. So long as you meet two requirements they will be happy. First, you must love them. Second, you must not be frivolous with money; that is you won’t spend your last dime on whiskey when the kids are hungry. Well frankly, if you are that frivolous with money then you really need a Chinese Woman more than she needs you.
Chinese women like to spend as much time with you as possible. The more you can be together the happier they are. They’re happy to go out with you and play, spend time at the movies, relax in a pub with your friends, walk on a beach, anything so long as she is with you. Equally a quiet night at home is perfect. To her, time with her husband is important. But that doesn’t mean you have to be with her every moment, it just means that every moment of your time you do give to her will be appreciated.
Unlike Western Women, a Chinese Woman will not sit around with her buddies secretly badmouthing you. To her, if you look bad she looks bad, and she would lose face. So long as you are covering the bare basics, she will outwardly praise you to the roof, because if her friends think you look good, then she gains face. And if she says you’re a bad husband, then implicitly she is failing as a wife.
China’s economy is growing fast, and these days most Chinese are proud of their place in the world and believe in their future. Just the same, the chance to live in the West, to get a passport from your country, to improve her economic status remains a potential motive for marrying a Western Man. But if it is so, it is low on a long list of motives. The number one motivator by far for a Chinese Woman to seek to marry a Western Man is that she is undervalued by Chinese Men. She wants someone who will appreciate her for the many things she does for him, who will treat her with respect, who will love her. She often cannot find that at home.
In addition, while many young Chinese Women are looking for someone who will treat them as equals, Chinese Women over the age of about 28 are already beginning to find few Chinese Men who are interested in them as life partners. While Western Men appreciate a partner who has life experience and is a real woman, Chinese Men want young girls to fill that role, to the extent that a Chinese Woman over 30 has become almost unmarketable as a wife.
Not to be repetitive, but Chinese women want you to love them and they want to love you, to look after your needs, to fulfill your desires. In their minds, one makes a good life and a good future through a good and loving marriage and a good home. To most Chinese women marriage is the most important single thing in life, because it is the center point of their existence from the moment they enter into marriage until the moment of their death. It is not to be taken lightly.
Chinese women like to please their men, and to receive acknowledgment that they have pleased him. Every Chinese woman loves it when her man gives her a little gift, because it means she has pleased him and he appreciates it.
None of this is to say that they never will be angry, never will express their concerns. And when a Chinese Woman reaches the boiling point, sit back and stay silent. Let her get it out, let her have her say, and acknowledge her righteousness, or watch out. And if you abuse her, physically or emotionally, then all we’ve said will go out the window. An abusive husband has no right to expect her respect and love. But given proper respect, she will return it many times over. She will honor your love, your marriage and your family, always placing your needs and those of your children above her own.
Generally Chinese woman are beautiful, inside and outside. 1 in 10 Chinese Women are obese. They are very feminine, sometimes childlike in spirit, petite and delicate. They take great care of their physical appearance. They almost always look 10 years younger than they are. Very few smoke or drink. They like to try new things, explore, and they love to laugh and have fun.
To most Chinese Women age difference is not a major factor in choosing their life partner. They are often attracted to older men, and 10 to 20 years difference is not a big problem to most, but you need to consider if it is important to you. A Chinese Women with little life experience can be just as trying as a Western Woman to a Western Man who has reached an age of little patience.
Chinese women like sex, but with many (not everyone, but many) their knowledge is a little limited. While they view it as an act of nature, they have not usually been with a partner who treats it as more than a quick event to satisfy himself, with his partner’s needs of no importance. So you may find yourself needing to do some teaching and coaching, but her response will almost always be one of delight and openness. With patience and guidance she will become an excellent partner, because, again, you are her husband and she wants to please you.
If a Chinese Woman appeals to you you’re not alone. And obviously web dating is a great way to find, meet and get to know Chinese women.
John Abbot (nom de plume) is married to a lovely Chinese Lady and has lived in China for several years. John knows, loves and respects the Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture.
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